Marriage in ancient Rome
Romulus and his band of male immigrants approached the Sabines for conubium, the legal right to intermarriage. The Sabine neighbours rejected overtures of intermarriage by Romulus and his band of male immigrants. According to Livy, Romulus and his men abducted the Sabine maidens but promised them honorable marriage. They would enjoy the benefits of property, citizenship, and children in this new union. This abduction may reflect an archaic custom of bride abduction that shaped early Roman social structures. Matrimonium defined the role of wives as mothers who would produce legitimate children. These heirs became eventual inheritors to their parents' estates. Marriages helped families build economic and political bonds and alliances. The most ancient form of marriage was traditionally reserved to the patrician social class. It claimed the husband's right to control his wife and her property. Early Christianity embraced this ideal of monogamous marriage later. It added its own teaching of sexual monogamy to the practice.
Early Roman law recognized three kinds of marriage: confarreatio, coemptio, and usus. Patricians always married by confarreatio while plebeians married by coemptio or usus. In the latter arrangement, a woman could avoid her husband's legal control simply by being absent from their shared home for three consecutive nights once a year. Manus marriage was an institutionally unequal relationship where the bride passed from the manus of her father to the manus of her husband. By the time of Julius Caesar, it was largely abandoned in favor of free marriage. A wife moved into her husband's home but remained under her father's lawful authority. She did not conduct her daily life under his direct scrutiny. Her husband had no legal power over her in these new arrangements. This freedom contributed to the independence Roman women enjoyed relative to many other ancient cultures. Free marriage usually involved two citizens of equal or near-equal status. In the later Imperial period, soldier-citizens and non-citizens could marry with official permission. So total was the law's separation of property that gifts between spouses were recognized as conditional loans. If a couple divorced or even lived apart, the giver could reclaim the gift.
A confarreatio wedding ceremony was a rare event reserved for the highest echelons of Rome's elite. The Flamen Dialis and pontifex maximus presided with ten witnesses present. The bride and bridegroom shared a cake of spelt known as panis farreus. A more typical upper-middle class wedding in the classical period was less prestigious but could be equally lavish. It would have been carefully planned by families. Sometimes the bride and groom exchanged gifts before the wedding day. The lighting of a sacred torch in honor of Ceres was part of the celebration. This ritual intended to impart fertility upon the couple. The most auspicious wood for wedding torches came from the spina alba, the may tree. A wedding sacrifice was also offered with a sow being the most likely choice. Varro described the sacrifice of a pig as a worthy mark of weddings. The day after the wedding, the husband held a dinner party. The bride made an offering to the Lares and other domestic deities of her new home.
Dowry was the payment made by a wife's family to her husband nominally to cover household expenses. Ancient papyrus texts show that dowries typically included land and enslaved people. They could also include jewelry, toiletries, mirrors, and clothing. While a marriage lasted, the dowry was the husband's property but his use was restricted. If the marriage ended through divorce, it was returned to either the wife or her family. If the husband committed offenses which led to divorce, he lost claim to any share in the dowry. If a wife was blameless for the ending of her marriage, the dowry was restored to her. A dowry of dos recepticia involved agreements made in advance about its disposal and recovery. A dowry of dos profecticia was given by the bride's father or her pater familias. It could be recovered by the donor or by the divorced woman herself. A dowry of dos adventicia was more flexible and might be given by the wife though it came from her father. If she divorced, a wife could reclaim this dowry; if she died, the husband kept it.
Lawful divorce was relatively informal as the wife took back her dowry and left her husband's house. Roman men had always held the right to divorce their wives. A pater familias could order the divorce of any couple under his manus. According to the historian Valerius Maximus, divorces were taking place by 604 BC or earlier. The early Republican law code of the Twelve Tables provided for it. Divorce was socially acceptable if carried out within social norms known as mos maiorum. By the time of Cicero and Julius Caesar, divorce was relatively common and shame-free. It became the subject of gossip rather than a social disgrace. Only one spouse's will was required for any divorce even if the divorced party was not informed. No public record was kept of the proceedings until official registration in 449 AD. Speedy remarriage was not unusual and perhaps even customary for aristocratic Romans after the death of a spouse. While no formal waiting period was dictated for a widower, it was customary for a woman to remain in mourning for ten months before remarrying. This duration may allow for pregnancy to ensure no question of paternity would attach to the birth.
As part of the moral legislation of Augustus in 18 BC, the Lex Iulia de adulteriis was directed at punishing married women who engaged in extra-marital affairs. The implementation of punishment was the responsibility of the paterfamilias. If a father discovered that his married daughter was committing adultery in either his own house or the house of his son-in-law, he was entitled to kill both the woman and her lover. If he killed only one of the adulterers, he could be charged with murder. A wronged husband was entitled to kill his wife's lover if the man were either enslaved or infamis. Among the infames were convicted criminals, entertainers such as actors and dancers, prostitutes and pimps, and gladiators. He was not allowed to kill his wife who was not under his legal authority. However, if he chose to kill the lover, the husband was required to divorce his wife within three days. If a husband was aware of the affair and did nothing, he could be accused of pandering. If no death penalty was carried out and adultery charges were brought, both the married woman and her lover were subject to criminal penalties. Usually these included the confiscation of one-half of the adulterer's property along with one-third of the woman's property and half her dowry.
In the Imperial era, there are several references to same-sex weddings between male partners. While these weddings were generally treated with mockery in literary sources such as Martial, Juvenal, and imperial biographers, the feelings of the participants are not recorded. There is no evidence to contradict an interpretation that the men were expressing a meaningful commitment. Even so, a quasi marital union between two men would not have been a valid marriage in Roman law. Sporus, a young enslaved person, was castrated and treated like Nero's wife. A dowry was given and the marriage ceremony was a public affair. Sporus is frequently portrayed as looking like Nero's late second wife but the wedding could have served as a theatrical performance for the emperor following the passing of his wife rather than an actual wedding. Among notable examples of same-sex unions in Rome are those of the emperor Elagabalus. He is said to have married either an enslaved chariot driver named Hierocles or a Smyrnaean athlete named Zoticus. According to Cassius Dio, in these relationships Elagabalus was named wife, mistress, and queen. It is unlikely Elagabalus legitimately married. The legal process of prohibiting a wedding ceremony between two men is clearly illustrated in the imperial constitutio found within the Codex Theodosianus.
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Common questions
What was the legal right to intermarriage called in ancient Rome?
The legal right to intermarriage was known as conubium. Romulus and his band of male immigrants approached the Sabines for this right before their abduction of Sabine maidens.
When did Roman law first recognize three kinds of marriage including confarreatio?
Early Roman law recognized three kinds of marriage: confarreatio, coemptio, and usus. Patricians always married by confarreatio while plebeians married by coemptio or usus.
How much property did a woman lose if convicted of adultery under Augustus's laws?
If convicted of adultery under the Lex Iulia de adulteriis, a woman lost one-third of her property along with half her dowry. The adulterer also faced confiscation of one-half of his property.
Who presided over a rare confarreatio wedding ceremony in ancient Rome?
A Flamen Dialis and pontifex maximus presided over a confarreatio wedding ceremony with ten witnesses present. This ritual involved sharing a cake of spelt known as panis farreus.
What happened to a dowry if a husband committed offenses leading to divorce?
If a husband committed offenses which led to divorce, he lost claim to any share in the dowry. A blameless wife could reclaim this dowry upon the ending of the marriage.
When was official registration required for divorce proceedings in ancient Rome?
No public record was kept of divorce proceedings until official registration in 449 AD. Divorce was relatively informal before this date and only required one spouse's will.