— Ch. 1 · A Toaster Fires Toast —
Hardware Wars.
~4 min read · Ch. 1 of 7
A household steam iron flies through space, fleeing a toaster that fires toast at it. The metal projectile disables the flying appliance instantly. Two robots named 4-Q-2 and Artie-Deco escape from an evil Empire aboard a ship made of cassette tape. They land on a desert planet that is actually a watermelon. A young boy named Fluke Starbucker finds a holographic message recorded in the vacuum cleaner's memory banks. Princess Anne-Droid loops her plea for help inside the device. She says Help me Augie Ben Doggie you are my only hope while wearing cinnamon rolls as hair whorls. Her voice echoes through the plastic casing of the canister vacuum.
Flashlights And Wookiee Puppets
Fluke receives his father's lightsaber which is simply a flashlight held by actor Scott Mathews. He joins forces with Augie Ben Doggie who belongs to the Red-Eye Knights. These knights parody the Jedi Order but wear red eye patches instead of robes. A country-and-western bar serves as their cantina where they meet Ham Salad. Chewchilla the Wookiee Monster appears as an orange Cookie Monster puppet dyed brown. The villain Darph Nader wears a welding helmet that distorts his speech so no one understands him. He destroys a peaceful home planet represented by a basketball when Princess Anne-Droid refuses to talk. The group enters an enemy base shaped like a waffle iron via a tractor beam.