Lady Elizabeth Stafford entered the world around 1497 into a family tree that stretched from the highest peaks of English nobility to the execution block. Her father, Edward Stafford, 3rd Duke of Buckingham, was a man of immense power and tragic fate, executed for treason in 1521, while her paternal grandmother, Lady Catherine Woodville, was the sister of Queen Elizabeth Woodville and sister-in-law to King Edward IV. This lineage placed Elizabeth at the very center of Tudor politics from her earliest days, yet her life would be defined not by royal privilege but by a marriage that became a public spectacle of cruelty. She was the eldest daughter of Edward Stafford and Lady Eleanor Percy, born into a world where loyalty to the crown often meant death, and where a woman's voice could be silenced by the very men who held power over her. Her early years were spent at home, but by 1509, she had entered the court of Catherine of Aragon, becoming the Queen's lifelong friend and a confidante who would later risk everything to protect her. The poet John Skelton described her as an admirer and friend of the muses, a testament to her literacy and intellect in an age when such qualities were rare for women of her station. This education and her position at court set the stage for a life that would be marked by both profound loyalty and devastating personal betrayal.
A Marriage Forged In Fire
Before the 8th of January 1513, when she was only fifteen years old, Lady Elizabeth became the second wife of Thomas Howard, Earl of Surrey, a widower in his late thirties who had previously been married to Anne, the daughter of King Edward IV. This union was not a love match but a political arrangement that quickly descended into a nightmare of domestic abuse and public scandal. Elizabeth had earlier been promised in marriage to her father's ward, Ralph Neville, 4th Earl of Westmorland, and the two young people were mutually devoted, a bond that Elizabeth would recall years later in a letter to Thomas Cromwell dated the 28th of September 1537. Her father had initially tried to persuade Surrey to marry one of his other daughters, but Elizabeth insisted that he wanted only her. The marriage brought Surrey a dowry of 2,000 marks, and she was promised a jointure of 500 marks a year, though Surrey never kept that promise. Elizabeth later stated that Surrey had but little to take to when he married her first but his lands, and he was always a great player, meaning a gambler. Despite the early years showing a bond of mutual love, as late as 1524 when he became Duke of Norfolk, the relationship began to crumble under the weight of Surrey's infidelity and violence. The Duchess served at court daily for sixteen years together while her husband was absent in King Henry VIII's wars, and accompanied him to Ireland when he was posted there in 1520, 22, yet these years of service could not prevent the eventual collapse of their marriage.The Mistress And The Queen
In 1527, the Duke of Norfolk took a mistress named Bess Holland, the daughter of his steward, with whom he lived openly at Kenninghall. The Duchess described Bess Holland in her letters variously as a bawd, a drab, and a churl's daughter who had been but a washer of her nursery for eight years, though it appears the Duchess's anger caused her to exaggerate Bess Holland's inferior social status, as her family were probably minor gentry, and she eventually became a lady-in-waiting to Anne Boleyn. During the long period in which King Henry VIII sought to have his marriage to Catherine of Aragon annulled, the Duchess remained staunchly loyal to Queen Catherine and antagonistic towards her husband's niece, Anne Boleyn, with whom the King was infatuated. Late in 1530, it was noted that the Duchess was secretly conveying letters to Queen Catherine from Italy concealed in oranges, which Catherine passed on to the Imperial ambassador, Eustace Chapuys. At one time, the Duchess told Chapuys that her husband had confided in her that Anne would be the ruin of all her family. In 1531, the Duchess was exiled from court at Anne Boleyn's request for too freely declaring her loyalty to Catherine. The conflict between the Duchess and Anne Boleyn was not merely personal but political, as the Duchess's loyalty to Catherine of Aragon put her at odds with the rising power of the new queen. When Anne was crowned queen on the 1st of June 1533, the Duchess refused to attend the coronation from the love she bore to the previous Queen, a decision that further isolated her from the court and her own family.Blood And Betrayal
The Duchess's own marriage continued to deteriorate as Norfolk refused to give up his mistress and resolved to separate from his wife. Both Norfolk and Thomas Cromwell requested the Duchess's brother to take her in, a suggestion he rejected. The Duchess wrote of her husband's abuse of her during this period, claiming that when she was recovering after the birth of her daughter, Mary, he had pulled her out of bed by the hair, dragged her through the house, and wounded her with a dagger. In three separate letters to Cromwell, the Duchess repeated the accusation that Norfolk had set his women to bind her till blood came out at her fingers' ends, and pinnacled her, and sat on her breast till she spit blood, and he never punished them. Norfolk responded to the allegations by writing that he thought the apparent false lies were never contrived by a wife of her husband that she doth daily increase of me. Continued cohabitation was clearly impossible, and on the 23rd of March 1534, Norfolk forced a separation. According to the Duchess, the Duke had ridden all night, and arriving home in a furious temper had locked her in a chamber and taken away all her jewels and apparel. She was sent to a house in Redbourn, Hertfordshire, from which she wrote a number of letters to Cromwell complaining that she was kept in a state of virtual imprisonment with a meagre annual allowance of only £200. At first, the Duchess attempted to reconcile with her husband, but when she received no reply to her kind letters to the Duke, she declared to Cromwell in a letter dated the 30th of December 1536 that from this day forward she would never sue to the King, nor to none other, to desire her lord my husband to take her again. On his part, Norfolk refused to give up Bess Holland, and attempted to persuade the Duchess to agree to a divorce, offering to return her jewels and apparel and give her a great part of his plate and stuff of household, but she rebuffed his offers. She received little or no support from her family, as her eldest son and daughter became estranged from her, while her brother condemned her behavior.The Fall Of The Howard
Forsaken by almost everyone, the Duchess remained obdurate, and on the 3rd of March 1539, she wrote to Cromwell that she would never again seek to reconcile with her husband. The Duchess's entreaties to Cromwell ceased with his fall from power in 1540. She and her brother were eventually reconciled, and at some time before 1547, he sent one of his daughters to live with her, whom the Duchess treated very generously. During Henry VIII's last years, Edward Seymour, 1st Earl of Hertford, and Henry's last wife, Catherine Parr, both of whom favored the reformed faith, gained influence with the King while the conservative Duke of Norfolk became isolated politically. The Duke attempted to form an alliance with the Seymours through a marriage between his widowed daughter, Mary Howard, and Hertford's brother, Thomas Seymour, but the effort was forestalled by the provocative conduct of the Duke's eldest son and heir, Henry Howard, Earl of Surrey, who had displayed in his own heraldry the royal arms and insignia. On the 12th of December 1546, both Norfolk and Surrey were arrested and sent to the Tower. On the 12th of January 1547, Norfolk acknowledged that he had concealed high treason, in keeping secret the false acts of my son, Henry Earl of Surrey, in using the arms of St. Edward the Confessor, which pertain only to kings, and offered his lands to the King. Norfolk's family, including the Duchess, his daughter Mary, and his mistress, Bess Holland, all gave evidence against him. Surrey was beheaded on the 19th of January 1547, and on the 27th of January 1547, Norfolk was attainted by statute without trial. The dying King gave his assent to Norfolk's death by royal commissioners, and it was rumored that he would be executed on the following day. He was saved by the King's death on the 28th of January and the council's decision not to inaugurate the new reign with bloodshed.A Life In The Shadows
Norfolk remained in the Tower throughout the reign of King Edward VI. He was released and pardoned by Queen Mary I in 1553, and in Mary's first parliament, which ran from October to December 1553, his statutory attainder was declared void, thereby restoring him to the dukedom. He died at Kenninghall on the 25th of August 1554, and was buried at St. Michael's Church at Framlingham in Suffolk. The Duchess was not named in his will. In July 1557, she officiated as godmother at the baptism of her great-grandson, Philip Howard, holding the child over a gold baptismal font which was kept in the Treasury and normally used only for the baptism of royal children. Elizabeth Howard died on the 30th of November 1558 at Lambeth, and was buried in the Howard chapel in the Church of St Mary-at-Lambeth. Her brother wrote a brief but apparently heartfelt epitaph: Thou wast to me, both far and near, A mother, sister, a friend most dear. The final years of her life were marked by a quiet dignity, as she navigated the political shifts of the Tudor era without the public spotlight that had once defined her. Despite the betrayals and the violence, she managed to maintain a degree of respect and influence within her family, even as the world around her changed dramatically. Her story, though often overshadowed by the more famous figures of the Tudor court, remains a testament to the resilience of a woman who refused to be broken by the men who held power over her.Lady Elizabeth Stafford entered the world around 1497 into a family tree that stretched from the highest peaks of English nobility to the execution block. Her father, Edward Stafford, 3rd Duke of Buckingham, was a man of immense power and tragic fate, executed for treason in 1521, while her paternal grandmother, Lady Catherine Woodville, was the sister of Queen Elizabeth Woodville and sister-in-law to King Edward IV. This lineage placed Elizabeth at the very center of Tudor politics from her earliest days, yet her life would be defined not by royal privilege but by a marriage that became a public spectacle of cruelty. She was the eldest daughter of Edward Stafford and Lady Eleanor Percy, born into a world where loyalty to the crown often meant death, and where a woman's voice could be silenced by the very men who held power over her. Her early years were spent at home, but by 1509, she had entered the court of Catherine of Aragon, becoming the Queen's lifelong friend and a confidante who would later risk everything to protect her. The poet John Skelton described her as an admirer and friend of the muses, a testament to her literacy and intellect in an age when such qualities were rare for women of her station. This education and her position at court set the stage for a life that would be marked by both profound loyalty and devastating personal betrayal.
A Marriage Forged In Fire
Before the 8th of January 1513, when she was only fifteen years old, Lady Elizabeth became the second wife of Thomas Howard, Earl of Surrey, a widower in his late thirties who had previously been married to Anne, the daughter of King Edward IV. This union was not a love match but a political arrangement that quickly descended into a nightmare of domestic abuse and public scandal. Elizabeth had earlier been promised in marriage to her father's ward, Ralph Neville, 4th Earl of Westmorland, and the two young people were mutually devoted, a bond that Elizabeth would recall years later in a letter to Thomas Cromwell dated the 28th of September 1537. Her father had initially tried to persuade Surrey to marry one of his other daughters, but Elizabeth insisted that he wanted only her. The marriage brought Surrey a dowry of 2,000 marks, and she was promised a jointure of 500 marks a year, though Surrey never kept that promise. Elizabeth later stated that Surrey had but little to take to when he married her first but his lands, and he was always a great player, meaning a gambler. Despite the early years showing a bond of mutual love, as late as 1524 when he became Duke of Norfolk, the relationship began to crumble under the weight of Surrey's infidelity and violence. The Duchess served at court daily for sixteen years together while her husband was absent in King Henry VIII's wars, and accompanied him to Ireland when he was posted there in 1520, 22, yet these years of service could not prevent the eventual collapse of their marriage.
The Mistress And The Queen
In 1527, the Duke of Norfolk took a mistress named Bess Holland, the daughter of his steward, with whom he lived openly at Kenninghall. The Duchess described Bess Holland in her letters variously as a bawd, a drab, and a churl's daughter who had been but a washer of her nursery for eight years, though it appears the Duchess's anger caused her to exaggerate Bess Holland's inferior social status, as her family were probably minor gentry, and she eventually became a lady-in-waiting to Anne Boleyn. During the long period in which King Henry VIII sought to have his marriage to Catherine of Aragon annulled, the Duchess remained staunchly loyal to Queen Catherine and antagonistic towards her husband's niece, Anne Boleyn, with whom the King was infatuated. Late in 1530, it was noted that the Duchess was secretly conveying letters to Queen Catherine from Italy concealed in oranges, which Catherine passed on to the Imperial ambassador, Eustace Chapuys. At one time, the Duchess told Chapuys that her husband had confided in her that Anne would be the ruin of all her family. In 1531, the Duchess was exiled from court at Anne Boleyn's request for too freely declaring her loyalty to Catherine. The conflict between the Duchess and Anne Boleyn was not merely personal but political, as the Duchess's loyalty to Catherine of Aragon put her at odds with the rising power of the new queen. When Anne was crowned queen on the 1st of June 1533, the Duchess refused to attend the coronation from the love she bore to the previous Queen, a decision that further isolated her from the court and her own family.
Blood And Betrayal
The Duchess's own marriage continued to deteriorate as Norfolk refused to give up his mistress and resolved to separate from his wife. Both Norfolk and Thomas Cromwell requested the Duchess's brother to take her in, a suggestion he rejected. The Duchess wrote of her husband's abuse of her during this period, claiming that when she was recovering after the birth of her daughter, Mary, he had pulled her out of bed by the hair, dragged her through the house, and wounded her with a dagger. In three separate letters to Cromwell, the Duchess repeated the accusation that Norfolk had set his women to bind her till blood came out at her fingers' ends, and pinnacled her, and sat on her breast till she spit blood, and he never punished them. Norfolk responded to the allegations by writing that he thought the apparent false lies were never contrived by a wife of her husband that she doth daily increase of me. Continued cohabitation was clearly impossible, and on the 23rd of March 1534, Norfolk forced a separation. According to the Duchess, the Duke had ridden all night, and arriving home in a furious temper had locked her in a chamber and taken away all her jewels and apparel. She was sent to a house in Redbourn, Hertfordshire, from which she wrote a number of letters to Cromwell complaining that she was kept in a state of virtual imprisonment with a meagre annual allowance of only £200. At first, the Duchess attempted to reconcile with her husband, but when she received no reply to her kind letters to the Duke, she declared to Cromwell in a letter dated the 30th of December 1536 that from this day forward she would never sue to the King, nor to none other, to desire her lord my husband to take her again. On his part, Norfolk refused to give up Bess Holland, and attempted to persuade the Duchess to agree to a divorce, offering to return her jewels and apparel and give her a great part of his plate and stuff of household, but she rebuffed his offers. She received little or no support from her family, as her eldest son and daughter became estranged from her, while her brother condemned her behavior.
The Fall Of The Howard
Forsaken by almost everyone, the Duchess remained obdurate, and on the 3rd of March 1539, she wrote to Cromwell that she would never again seek to reconcile with her husband. The Duchess's entreaties to Cromwell ceased with his fall from power in 1540. She and her brother were eventually reconciled, and at some time before 1547, he sent one of his daughters to live with her, whom the Duchess treated very generously. During Henry VIII's last years, Edward Seymour, 1st Earl of Hertford, and Henry's last wife, Catherine Parr, both of whom favored the reformed faith, gained influence with the King while the conservative Duke of Norfolk became isolated politically. The Duke attempted to form an alliance with the Seymours through a marriage between his widowed daughter, Mary Howard, and Hertford's brother, Thomas Seymour, but the effort was forestalled by the provocative conduct of the Duke's eldest son and heir, Henry Howard, Earl of Surrey, who had displayed in his own heraldry the royal arms and insignia. On the 12th of December 1546, both Norfolk and Surrey were arrested and sent to the Tower. On the 12th of January 1547, Norfolk acknowledged that he had concealed high treason, in keeping secret the false acts of my son, Henry Earl of Surrey, in using the arms of St. Edward the Confessor, which pertain only to kings, and offered his lands to the King. Norfolk's family, including the Duchess, his daughter Mary, and his mistress, Bess Holland, all gave evidence against him. Surrey was beheaded on the 19th of January 1547, and on the 27th of January 1547, Norfolk was attainted by statute without trial. The dying King gave his assent to Norfolk's death by royal commissioners, and it was rumored that he would be executed on the following day. He was saved by the King's death on the 28th of January and the council's decision not to inaugurate the new reign with bloodshed.
A Life In The Shadows
Norfolk remained in the Tower throughout the reign of King Edward VI. He was released and pardoned by Queen Mary I in 1553, and in Mary's first parliament, which ran from October to December 1553, his statutory attainder was declared void, thereby restoring him to the dukedom. He died at Kenninghall on the 25th of August 1554, and was buried at St. Michael's Church at Framlingham in Suffolk. The Duchess was not named in his will. In July 1557, she officiated as godmother at the baptism of her great-grandson, Philip Howard, holding the child over a gold baptismal font which was kept in the Treasury and normally used only for the baptism of royal children. Elizabeth Howard died on the 30th of November 1558 at Lambeth, and was buried in the Howard chapel in the Church of St Mary-at-Lambeth. Her brother wrote a brief but apparently heartfelt epitaph: Thou wast to me, both far and near, A mother, sister, a friend most dear. The final years of her life were marked by a quiet dignity, as she navigated the political shifts of the Tudor era without the public spotlight that had once defined her. Despite the betrayals and the violence, she managed to maintain a degree of respect and influence within her family, even as the world around her changed dramatically. Her story, though often overshadowed by the more famous figures of the Tudor court, remains a testament to the resilience of a woman who refused to be broken by the men who held power over her.